Just for Laugh
Jokes from my email…. 
ERAP JOKES
One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.
Erap: Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.
Ramos: Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.
Erap: Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.
Ramos: Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng
naka-bathing suit.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babaeng naka-bathing suit, eh di
lalakeng - lalaki ka.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos: Kita mo na, ganyan lang ang logic!
Erap: Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!
The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate. . .
Erap: Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.
Maceda:Sige nga!
Erap: May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Maceda:Wala
Erap: BAKLA! BAKLA! BAKLA
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Balita ni Jingoy sa kanyang Ama:
Jingoy: Tay, tataas nanaman daw ang tax sa alcohol at sigarilyo
Erap: (Galit!) Talagang ginigipit ako ng administrasyon
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Waitress: Ano po ang gagawin sa itlog nyo?
FVR: scrambled sa akin
Eddie: akin soft boiled
ERAP: sa akin kilitiin mo na lang!
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JUDGE: Anong mangyayari so iyo kung ipapaputol ko and tenga mo?
ERAP: Hihina po and aking pandinig!
JUDGE: Eh, kung ipapaputol ko ang magkabilang tenga mo?
ERAP: Eh, lalabo po and aking paningin!
JUDGE: Aba, bakit ganon?
ERAP: Kasi po mahuhulog and aking salamin sa mata!
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EDDIE GIL’s JOKE
Just thought we could use a laugh every once in a while. Erap jokes were
good, but these are better!
Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit mag! kaiba ang medyas mo? Isang green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis. May isang pares pa ako
na ganito sa bahay.
Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the
islands be connected by fly-overs
Genie: I’m not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?
Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo. ‘Yung isa
naman may nakasabit na “do not disturb” .
Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his
seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,
and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of
the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants,
socks and watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks
what is going on “Miss, I am only following the instructions, ” he says, ”
it says here, “Answer the following questions in brief’.”
Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I’m late! brownout! na stuck sa elevator for 1 hour
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator
Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into six or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don’t think I could eat eight.
Ballerina!
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage,
Eddie Gil commented- “Ang ***** naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya
kumuha ng matangkad?!”
In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much for me!
Apollo 13
Apollo 13 reporter: mr. Eddie Gil, have you watched “Apollo 13″.
Eddie Gil: no, i might not undertand it.
Apollo 13 reporter: why??
Eddie Gil: because i wasn’t able to watch Apollo part 1 to 12.
Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey’s !!
Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Eddie Gil : ***** ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, pinipigilan yon!!
The Mirror
There was a mirror that eats liars.
Pangit: I think I’m CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I’m SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na.
